Four Ways to Help Students Regulate Their Emotions
Author: Michelle S. Lazurek
Emotional Skills
Children need emotional regulation. Because students deal with so many social, emotional, and mental issues, in addition to overworked school schedules, it’s hard for them to get a handle on the emotions these issues create. This is most evident within a classroom setting. When a child is dealing with issues at home, they don’t have a role model to help them regulate these emotions properly. Therefore, if an issue occurs at school, emotions erupt quickly. Sadness, anger, and rage can all stem from a lack of emotional regulation.
Here are four ways to help them deal effectively with their emotions:
Analyze the Problem
Talk to your child to get to the bottom of the real issue. Ask open-ended questions rather than closed-ended questions. For example, ask them questions like “What’s it like at home?” “Do you play well with your brothers and sisters?” “Do you see your mom and dad often?” If the child wants to talk, be a good listener. Allow them to share their story. Once you get to the root of the real issue, it will help them not only deal with the emotions regarding the issue in the classroom, but also help them regulate their emotions at home as well.
Listen Carefully
Be sure to listen without judgment. Kids want to be heard and when they are heard, trust is established. Be sure to be there for them on a regular basis. Allow them to share their story freely. Let them know you are there simply to listen, not to dispense advice.
Give Them Action Steps
If a situation happens at school, help the child figure out how to solve the problem themselves. For example, if their friend won’t share a particular item or other possession, help them cope with the situation. Ask them what they should do about it. Help them understand that the child has every right not to share it if they so choose. Help them understand that simply because they want something, doesn’t mean they’re entitled to it.
Be Fair, But Firm
While it’s ideal that each child receives a fair resolution to their issue, the reality is that it may not always be possible. Do what you can to reach a fair resolution but help the child who didn’t receive their desired outcome to deal with residual feelings of hurt, pain, or perceived favoritism. Allow them to feel the weight of the unfairness, but reassure them the decision is not about them, but rather what is best in the situation.
Emotions are difficult for anyone to deal with, especially children. Do what you can to help students learn emotions are not only beneficial, but controllable. For more information on emotional regulation, check out Six Ways to Help Shy Students Feel Comfortable.
About the Author
Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award winning author, speaker, wife and mother. She is a regular contributor of articles on marriage, family and leadership to serve her audience. She also is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services and a certified writing coach. She is a former adjunct professor at Gannon University as well as a former daycare director. For more info, please visit her website www.michellelazurek.com.
