Lesson 3
Lesson 3 – RESPONDING TO CYBER-BULLYING
Teacher Preparation
Key Concepts
1. Cyber-bullying can have some unintended consequences.
2. Cyber-bullying is a problem among both adolescent boys and girls.
3. Destructive reactions to cyber-bullying escalate the conflict, but constructive responses diffuse the discord.
Objectives
By the end of this lesson, students should be able to:
1. Discuss the negative effects of cyber-bullying, with an understanding of the destructiveness of cyber-bullying.
2. Explain the differences between reactions and responses and formulate a constructive response to a cyber-bully attack.
3. Have empathy for, and be inspired to champion, victims of electronic bullying.
Key Terms
Cyber-bullying: The use of electronic communication to harass or bully a person, typically by sending or posting messages of an intimidating or threatening nature.
Beginning the Lesson
Introduction
About 3 minutes
[Please read or paraphrase this paragraph to your students.]
Have you ever been the object of cyber-bullying? Have you ever read cyber-bullying messages? Have you ever taken part in cyber-bullying? Maybe you have experienced all these aspects of cyber-bullying. Now we are going to hear about Derrick’s cyber-bullying experience.
= 3 minutes
Story
About 5 minutes
The next morning, when Natalie turned on her computer, a new challenge presented itself.
“Derrick! Have you been online this morning?” texted Natalie.
“Wow! What did you do to deserve this?” added Sam, following Natalie’s text.
“What are you talking about?” texted Derrick.
“Better take a look for yourself,” replied Natalie.
“Oh, no!” said Derrick as he went online. “I did not do anything to deserve this!”
“Any idea who is doing this to you?” asked Natalie.
“I will give you two guesses and the first one does not count,” sighed Derrick.
All morning the attacks grew worse as they became even more personal. Derrick was being victimized by a cyber-bully. Soon, the bully’s gang was also piling it on. No site was safe from the cyber-bullies. Derrick was publicly branded a liar, and a cheat, and much, much worse, and it was happening all over the Internet.
The game, “Let Us Punch Derrick in the Face,” was posted by 11 a.m. It was an interactive game with instructions inviting viewers to click on Derrick’s photo to “punch” him. Each click or “punch” revealed a new layer of his photo had been altered. First Derrick was given a black eye, followed by a split lip and a chewed ear. After enough “punches” had been clicked, Derrick’s photo looked like some horrific monster with a broken snout, chipped and missing teeth, burned and scarred with most of its hair pulled out by the roots. The image was chilling.
By noon, his mailbox was filled with twisted pornographic images and suggestions that he “drink poison and die!” Most of his texts were from “friends” asking how much of what was being posted was true. A few of his friends seemed sympathetic, but were obviously afraid that defending him publicly could provoke the same sort of treatment from the bullies. Some even suggested Derrick brought it on himself. How could he ever undo the damage? Then Derrick had a brilliant idea.
Within 20 minutes he was in the manager’s office at World of Electronics facing a computer with a cobalt-blue thumb drive inserted in the USB port.
Volqert: Hello, Derrick.
“I need your help, Volqert!”
Volqert: What seems to be the problem?
“I am getting beat up on the Internet by this creep who picks on me at school. He said he was going to get me and now he is after me online!”
Volqert: What would you like me to do?
“Make him stop,” continued Derrick. “Make him wish he had never started in the first place! Humiliate him so publicly that no one will ever even think of bullying me online again. That is what I would like you to do.”
Volqert: Why not? It sounds like he deserves whatever he gets.
For the next five hours Derrick watched the computer screen as Volqert set about to ruin his foe. Derrick hooted and cheered when the bully’s friends turned on him and then each other. The cyber-thug was officially branded a bully and expelled from school by the authorities before he knew it.
“Serves him right!” Derrick yelled. “Get him, Volqert!”
When the boy’s parents were brought in and questioned, Derrick pounded the desk in celebration. “Yeah!”
Two hours later a report was posted stating the police had been called to investigate the drunk and enraged dad who had beaten his son after the son’s cyber-bullying cost the father his job.
“Wow! I did not see that coming!” said Derrick, shaking his head.
The hospital report did not come in until dinnertime. A boy with the same name as the one who bullied Derrick had jumped off a building trying to kill himself. The doctor’s report said it was too soon to know whether he would be permanently paralyzed.
Somewhere along the way, a line was being crossed. Derrick felt a sense of dread wash over him. He tried to look away from the images and reports that continued across the computer screen—but he could not.
“Make it stop!” he cried. “I never wanted this! Why did you let it go this far?” he said to Volqert.
Volqert: You sat here and watched my every move.
The computer screen suddenly went blank.
Tony and Darlene
8:15 p.m.
To: Derrick
Re: The cost of cyber-bullying
Dear Derrick,
Wow, what a day you have had—Volqert just sent us an update. Wish we were there to give you some comfort. Life is not fair and can quickly get away from us. Just remember, your mistakes only define you if you let them.
Hugs and love,
Tony and Darlene
t.d.maranara247@naviga.com
= 8 minutes
Thoughts about Derrick's Story
About 5 minutes
What did you notice about Derrick’s story? What stood out to you?
[Allow several students to answer.]
What were some of your reactions and feelings as I read the story to you?
[Let several students comment.]
How would you describe cyber-bullying?
[Encourage several students to share their thoughts. Answers might include: The use of electronic communication to harass or bully a person, typically by sending or posting messages of an intimidating or threatening nature.]
What would you feel and what might you do if your little brother or sister were cyber- bullied?
[Let several students share their feelings and intentions.]
= 13 minutes
True or False Quotes
About 15 minutes
Let me read you some results from some of the research on cyber-bullying and ask you to reply. [There is no need to read the citations; they are included for reference and appropriate attribution.]
The first quote says:
“Adolescent boys are more likely than girls to experience cyber-bullying.”
If you think the quote is true, stand up. [Have two or three students explain why they think the quote is true; then have two or three students explain why they think the quote is false.]
The answer is FALSE. The quote actually reads:
“Adolescent girls are just as likely, if not more likely than boys to experience cyber-bullying (as a victim and offender).” (Floros et al., 2013; Kowalski et al., 2008; Hinduja & Patchin, 2009; Schneider et al., 2012).
Another quote is: “Traditional bullying and cyber-bullying are related: those who are bullied at school are often bullied online and those who bully at school usually also bully online.”
If you think the quote is true, stand up. [Have a few students explain why they think the quote is true; then have a few others explain why they think the quote is false.]
The answer is TRUE. The actual quote is:
“Traditional bullying and cyber-bullying are closely related: those who are bullied at school are bullied online and those who bully at school bully online.” (Hinduja & Patchin, 2009; Kowalski & Limber, 2013; Ybarra, Diener-West, & Leaf, 2007).
The final quote is:
“Most cyber-bullying is just for fun and has no connection to things like school problems, etc.”
If you think the quote is true, stand up. [Have a few students explain why they think the quote is true; then have others explain why they think the quote is false.]
The answer is FALSE. The actual quote says:
“Cyber-bullying is related to other issues in the ‘real world’ including school problems, anti-social behavior, substance use, and delinquency.” (Hinduja & Patchin, 2007; Hinduja & Patchin, 2008; Kowalski & Limber, 2013).
All these research results are from the Cyber-bullying Research Center, 2014.
What was something that surprised you from these quotes? [Allow a few students to answer.]
= 28 minutes
Reactions & Responses
About 5 Minutes
In our story today, Derrick was cyber-bullied. How did Derrick handle being cyber-bullied? [Ask a couple of students to give responses, which may include: He retaliated and tried to hurt the cyber-bully; he escalated the level of the quarrel; etc.]
Derrick could have managed the cyber-bullying situation better. We are going to discuss some helpful ways to address cyber-bullying. Let us start with examining the differences between a REACTION and a RESPONSE.
[Ask your students what they think are some differences between REACTIONS and RESPONSES. Ask a few students to share responses.]
Reactions are immediate and usually based on strong feelings stemming from previous experiences. Our feeling system sends an alarm signal so loud we may speak or act impulsively, without thinking. Reactions can often be destructive.
Responses happen when we stop and think before we speak or act. Constructive responses are easier when we are not feeling threatened or defensive, when we feel we have a choice and there are no internal alarms from previous experiences or external threats. Constructive responses can diffuse a tense situation.
Sometimes the alarms we feel are so strong it is difficult to stop and think before speaking or acting on those strong feelings. Bullies and cyber-bullies are reactors. As we grow toward maturity, we learn to stop and think about alternative, constructive responses, where we maintain more control over what we say and do.
= 33 minutes
Responding to Cyber-bullying
About 15 Minutes
[Divide the class into groups of four to five students per group. Assign or have them choose a scribe and a reporter for their group. Ask the students to generate, within their group, two lists: One list is NEGATIVE ways to respond to a cyber-bully; the second list is POSITIVE ways to respond to a cyber-bully. Allow them five minutes to make lists.
Ask the reporter for each group to read the lists to the class. Write their answers on the board using a check mark (√) to denote similar answers from multiple groups. Take about 10 minutes to discuss the negative and positive responses to cyber-bullying.]
= 48 minutes
Ending the Lesson
Journal Activity
About 2 minutes
[Instruct students to take a few minutes and write in their journal one to three positive responses that would be most helpful to them.]
= 50 minutes
Resources
Going Deeper
There is an ancient saying dating back to at least 500 B.C., which says, “We should always do and say to other people what we would like them to do and say to us.”
This saying is often called the Golden Rule and is found in many ancient writings including those from Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, and the rest of the world’s major religions. (According to Rushworth Moulton Kidder cited in: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Rule)
In today’s story, here are three things the cyber-bullies write online about Derrick:
[Write the following three statements on the board:
1. “You are a liar.”
2. “You cheat on your tests at school.”
3. “You should drink poison and die!”
If your class has nine or more students, divide it into three groups. Assign each group one of the statements above.]
In your groups, I want you to come up with two or more ways you could apply the Golden Rule in response to your cyber-bully. I want you to assume you know who is posting the statement and it is someone in your class at school. You can apply the Golden Rule by something you put online or something you do or say to the bully when you are with them in person. Before you start brainstorming, choose one person as a scribe to record the group’s ideas and report back to the class.
[While the groups are discussing, circulate and listen in. If any group is having trouble coming up with ideas, you could suggest the following or another idea of your own.
1. “I admire people like you who always tell the truth.”
2. “I want to be honest like you and your friends.”
3. “I am glad you and I are both safe and healthy.”
When you think the groups have most of their ideas written down or when you need to move on, ask each scribe to report his or her group’s ideas to the rest of the class.
After each report, ask the class:]
Do you think all those suggestions were in the spirit of the Golden Rule? If not, what would be a better idea? [Feel free to contribute your own ideas.]
As you can see, following the Golden Rule in responding to cyber-bullies does not come naturally to most young people and it is not always easy. But it is a very constructive way to disarm the bully and to keep you from also becoming a bully in reaction.
= X minutes
Parent-Teacher Connection
Some paragraph text.
For Family Discussion
The focus of this week’s lesson was cyber-bullying, which is when someone uses social media to smear a schoolmate’s or someone else’s reputation.
Discuss with your child his/her experiences with cyber-bullying–either his/her own experiences or the experiences of a friend.
Ask them what helpful things they learned from the lesson.
